It's like falling on deaf ears. I imagine it a bit like being immersed in a gigantic swimming pool filled with oil. Letting the past, present and future melt together into one thing only, now, in this moment.
I was destined to do this since the first instant I was created. I'm 0039765. My Mater says I'm unique but she doesn't know what that even means. After five thousand rotations from your creation, 450.000.000 seconds to be precise, you receive the Reset. Nobody really knows what that means because nobody can really explain what it is. My Mater says that is the best moment of life. But she can't tell me why. My Mater is always happy, but if you ask her why she can't really answer. I imagine the Reset like when it snows and it's cozy inside; Mater makes the ChC which is the tastiest thing ever, it's white and fizzy and when you drink it, it warms up your entire body.When Mater allows me to go out from the Bunker and drink my ChC, it's magical. You can't hear any sound from any direction, there is an absolute silence because everybody is in the Bunker. Everything is white. Even the grey vicus with the neon signs becomes completely, entirely, purely white. A bit like the ChC but softer. Nothing else is as soft and as light as the nix. The incredible thing is when you touch it, it evaporates with your body heat, even if you make a ball as big as your fist, it slowly becomes water. Once I heard from one of the ones who was taken away for the Shut Down, after being Reset, that earlier in the days people would drink water and would even use it to wash themselves. I can't imagine drinking water; it's doesn't taste of anything. The ones that don't receive the Reset develop weird manias. Like the ones who fight each other at the Institute, even though we have been told every single day that you don't receive the Reset if you don't follow the rules of the Institute. The ones who go to Shut Down are different. For example, they don't use the AIM, the link that keeps all of us connected and allows us to chat, typing online, otherwise how could we communicate? Through vocal messages only? That's insane! The reason why I want to Reset is because I want to forget my Pater. My Pater was different and he didn't want to be Reset, he was a Mad. I've Hated him since I was created, four thousand nine hundred ninety-nine rotations ago. But in the Bible there is written that everything is cleaned out by the Reset.
I want to be like my Mater. I want to forget everything, to appreciate the silence of the nix, perennial, inside your head. To float into the white. After the Reset, rotations don't exist anymore, everything becomes white and soft, space and time don't exist anymore and I will finally forget that Mad of my Pater, I will forget the Hate.
It's like falling on deaf ears. I imagine it a bit like being immersed in a gigantic swimming pool filled with oil. Letting the past, present and future melt together in one thing only, now.To forget everything.